I need to keep writing.
Just let me till my fingers are blistered and numb.
Too many thoughts in my head.
Let me channel them all.
Got a remote?

Feel like crying,
But nothing comes.
Nothing but invisible tears of self pity that is.
Lump in My throat = Coal in my Stomach.
I'm going to smile for real now.

Billion Dollar Baby.
Drinking wine with diamonds in the glass.
"Gonna Be a Big Deal"
Anyone can buy glitter and gold paint,
Only you can make it a trash can fad.

Cheer up,
Not you, me.
Someone will want me.
Pick me up off the shelf and give a dusting.
I aim to please.


Be my little baby...



Bedhead.

Coming to you live from my Father's desk.
Feeling important.
Feeling intelligent.
Too bad I'm neither.
Looking at pictures from when I was eight.
Hilariously long ago.

Work is piling up,
And I keep rolling my eyes.
Schools a joke,
Why play along?

I realized today that there's only a handful of days
Until I see them again.
Interesting, They feel like friends.
But, it's one-sided.
I know them,
They could care less about me.
Funny how the gears grind.

Looking for diversions.


Bedhead.

All I needed was You.
I remember the first time you sang me to sleep.
"Goodnight, Bedhead."
Long goodbyes are like forgotten years.
I miss you.

You try so hard to fit in,
Give it up, you'll never match.
Being "cool" died years ago.
What the hell do you think you're doing?

How did I lose you?
The flashbulbs know you better than I do.
Camera Whores with empty eyes are old news.
Dying Socialite.

Don't think you can make a fool of me.
I see behind those tired eyes and pretend smile,
We're the same.
Two of a kind.
Insominacs with heads too full.
"Don't mind the dark circles,
They're more like mental bruises."

Messes are my forte.
I come from bad dreams,
And sour milk spills.
Painted faces and head nods hide it all.
I've been slandered and mocked.

What've you lost?


Bedhead.

World is crashing,
Just like my laptop.
Can't find away to make this make sense.
I need a reboot.
I need a clean up.

I'm afraid no one will want to love me forever.
There is no one to wake up next to,
When I'm old and grey.
It didn't work for them.
It can't work for me.

I need to know I'm not alone.
I'm always alone.
Shadows are the only friends I know.
Doesn't anyone want my smile?

Thick air.
It chokes and burns.
Polluted lungs.
Polluted eyes.
Call Greenpeace, I'm a enviornmental disastor.

Promise me were not just friends when the bell rings...


Bedhead.

So he said he was deep,
I hated to inform him that I've seen kiddie pools deeper.
Should have seen his face.
Flash. Flash.
Save that one in your photographic memory.

Such a sarcastic bitch.
"I swear that kid lives on a bad attitude."
They said I was mean.
I said I was honest.
Who's right?

They are.

I'm all your bad dreams and worst case senarios.
I bent your halo,
And kicked dirt on your dreams.
Playground Bully Baby.
Lock me up.

Missing you makes me this way.

Sleep is like a distant memory these days
My eyes are heavy but I won't shut them,
Not till I know that me and you were never a mistake,
We were a collision.

Even though you're far from me now,
You've felt closer... to my heart.
Take this one to the bank baby,
It's worth a bundle.

The words keep flowing,
But I don't think you can hear them.
I mumble, note made to fix that.
Let me put it in the pile
Next to all the apologies to make
And truths to tell.
It's on my to-do-list.
Scout's Honor.

I wish it'd rain.
I take comfort in it,
That nature's atleast got it right.
I'm a failure... at some things,
But I've got a plan to make this all worth it,
Just wait and see
They'll all buy it by the bottle.
It'll be the best hoax yet,
Unless you count you and me.

Don't let me spit on your sidewalk chalk masterpiece.


Bedhead.

Enough Crypic Posts.

Time to tell you who and what I really am/love.

Love:
-You.
-Mismatched eyes.
-Being a Savant.
-Learning new words (Dictionary Lover)
-Chemistry (Not me & you, the subject)
-Cold Stone Ice Creamery.
-Tally Hall.
-Nightmare Before Christmas.
-Bubblegum Kisses.
-Phone calls from people I can't help not to get over.
-Standing front row.
-Green.
-Being on his hitlist.
-Danny Elfman.
-Obnoxius Clothing.
-Odepidus Cycle.
-Ajax.

Hate:
-Being looked over.
-Standing out.
-Contradicting myself.
-Wheelie Kids.
-Being stuck in the past.
-Being Jaded.
-Forcing smiles.
-As I lay Dying.
-Hometown.
-Inadequacy
-Needing You.
-Simpletons.
-Never believing in Sandy Claws.
-Getting Caught.

I am...

A loser.
A Nerd.
A Dreamer.
A Bookworm.
A Lover of Secrets.
A Worrywart.
A Faker.
Needy.
A Honors Student.
A Liar.
A Shower Singer.


Get your chopsticks, It's time to pick my brain.



Bedhead.

I wrote my secret down on a green balloon
And let it drift of in to the blue void we call the sky
I hope it finds its way to you.
I bet it'd be a long journey.
I bet it would.

Don't forget me,
When you're lying awake in your bed watching her sleep.
Don't you dare pretend she's me,
But you might not want to close your eyes
All you'll see is me.
I may be a ghost,
But I'm no Casper.

Don't act like you've put me in the past,
It's written on your forehead.
I'm the only thing you know.
It's alright,
You're painted on my heart.

Figures of speech only downplay your sincerity,
Tell me the truth.
I don't want lies and beating around the bush,
You're no good at that anyway.
We're just cops and robbers.
I'll steal your soul,
See if you can catch me.
Eyes like yours spill secrets.

I knew before you spoke where this was going.
Why am I such a fool to go along with you?
What a falling star,
No wishes granted.
You never meant a word.
I pretend like I don't know your intentions,
I'm in in love with the idea of love.
All I want is a You & Me.


Bedhead.

From heavy eyes to itchy lips,
"You had me at hello"
Excuse me, didn't I read about you in a fairy tale?
The one with the white horse and happy end.
I dream in "once upon a times"
Let me be the princess,
I've already got the hoping heart.

Wrap me up in lace,
I want to be a little girl.
This week is making me miss childhood.
Adolesence is almost up.
I'm bluffing my way into growing up.
I just found out this isn't Neverland.

Life is better without him.
I can breathe.
Cast off the boulder,
I'm lighter than air.
Kiss me quiet.

ineedyoutonoticemesilencedoesnothing.


Behead.

I'm such a little kiss up.
A good night liar.
"I want you to want me."
I know you see something more,
Don't lie.
You're not me.

I want to be lucky.
I kiss dice and eat stars,
It seems to have a reverse effect.
Walk under ladders baby,
We're a broken mirrior waiting to crack.

And we could run away,
But it'd do no good.
We're stuck like glue
To a place we've never chosen.
How ironic.
How quaint.

And I'll catch you when you come falling home....


Bedhead.

I'm sorry I've run away at the mouth again,
I'd bite my tounge,
But it may be better if you bite it for me.
I need you more than an addict needs a fix,
I'm trying to hold on,
But it's not working.

I love you.
I said it,
But I'm afraid of what that will mean when I wake up,
And think back to this very moment
When I let those words slip from my lips.

I try to shut so much out,
But the more I do
The more I remember.
I am forever losing things ,
What I wish I'd lose are the keys to my past.
But they're stuck like glue and I haven't tried hard enough yet.
I live in my dreams
Because reality is a far cry from what I hoped for.
It's those dreams that keep that cheesy smile painted on my akward face.

kissmebetterdoctorshavenothingonyou.

I like to lie in my bed in that state between sleeping and waking
Where those half-way dreams seem like reality
And the only thing I hear is the faint sound of memories
That I should have forgotten by now.
Bad luck is always there.
Sleep it away.
It;s the only plan I have for making life better.
Because everything else seems like a mistake.


Bedhead.

These days all I do
Is remember everything about you.
Of whisper wings and long goodbyes.
Though you're far away, don't let go.
You're the only thing holding me together.

Your voice is the only thing in my head,
And your words cut right to the bone.
So when you lie awake,
trying to find the answer,
I'll be the only thing you think of.

justbreatheyoucantastemeinthebreeze.

You're a mystery to me,
One left unsolved.
You'll never know what overtakes my heart,
When eyes lock and palms sweat.
I'd like for you to stay locked away in my room,
But it's not in the cards this time.

I can't seem to shake this feeling I get,
When everything goes down hill.
As I take my first steps without you,
Things I thought were lost all rush back.
I'd forgotten the sound of my own voice,
And how I hate the silence.

If our paths should ever cross again,
Let it be like a late night car crash.
There's nothing more beautiful than the element of surprise.
Just shine on me,
'Cause you know it's raining inside.


Bedhead.