It's going to be ok.

You're ok.

I'm ok. 

We're ok.

It'll all be ok in the end.

Ok?

I love you enough to wait until our lives meet up again. 

Bedhead. 

I'm half way in love with you.

Bedhead. 

You can't tell me not to. 

I won't put my life on hold, 

Not for your feelings, 

Nor for anyone else. 

I will always be my own person

And friendship is a two way street

No matter how many roadblocks you put up. 

Hurting you was never apart of the agenda

And I hate that you've made this

About you.

It's not, 

You're my friend,

He's my chance.

And I'm sick of not taking them. 

The only person you care about in this equation

Is yourself, 

And that is selfish.

I can't forgive you for that.

Don't even ask.

You hurt me first.

Bedhead.

Raise your hand if you read this.

Raise your hand if you care. 

Raise your hand if you know what's in my head.

Raise your hand if you don't give a shit.

Raise your hand if you think I'm an asshole.

And raise your hand if you feel just a little close to me. 

No audience is still and audience. 

Bedhead. 

Scratches on my hands 

Mark the places I've been

Like ticks on a map. 

Funny, how many were accidents, 

And how many were on purpose?

 The trials of the art student. 

Bedhead.  

Whore. 

Pervert.

Jerk Off. 

Slut. 

Two-Faced.

We sure know how to pack the punches, 

One after another. 

But we care, 

I swear. 

He means the world to us, 

But excuse us, 

We have to run him into the ground first. 

Big mouthes and small brains, 

What an epidemic. 

Dagger eyes and lightening tongues. 

Monsters of today, 

That's what we are. 

We've fallen far, 

And we've trapped him down here with us. 

Go buy him some make up

To cover up the bruises and scars we've left. 

But makeup doesn't cover the pain, 

We're a pain. 

We've made our Golden Boy 

Into a copper piss pot. 

But we care, 

I swear.

We do such bad things. 

At the end of the day

I'm still there

With tissues and "I'm sorries"

Will it make it better?

No. 

Will it make me better?

No.

♥ Hearts for the hearts we hurt. 

Bedhead. 

Don't worry, 

I still miss you. 

You were never one to be forgotten so easily. 

Just one day maybe this missing

Won't hurt this much. 

Here's to seeing you again.

Bedhead.

Time to head out again, 

Off to continue what I've already started.

There's a feeling of dread, 

But let's not forget the excitement too. 

All these feelings....

Pack them up too,

And let's go for a ride.

Back to school.

Bedhead. 

He didn't even look at me last night, 

Just walked on by.

Like we were strangers, 

Like I was never in love with him. 

I wish I could say that he wasn't still handsome as ever,

But he is.

In 2008 my heart was his alone, 

This year I'm taking it back. 

I'm through with the circular thoughts

Of how it'd be f I was still his. 

It wasn't fair.

But what ever is?

I don't want to hand my heart over again.

But it is inevitable. 

Just next time, 

Handle with care.

To the year of better days.

Bedhead. 

I'd like to think that every year I age

Is like a snowglobe. 

Completely transparent with a sort of 

Focus in the middle. 

It seems calm, and clear. 

That is until you give a good shake. 

Here's to another year of flying glittery snow.

Bedhead. 

Pulchritudinous.

Currently my favorite word that does 

Not describe you.

I am a braniac of epic proportions, 

A scholar for the ages.

 

I'd hate to hurt you with my vocabulary.

Bedhead.

One for when I was 13, 

when I  cried more than smiled. 

Hated more than I loved.

And wished more than lived. 

There was one then. 

One for when I started high school, 

When I was uncertain and curious. 

When I hadn't quite figured myself out, 

And couldn't look in a mirror without scowling.

There was another one then. 

One for senior year, 

The end of an era, 

The start of something new. 

When I said goodbye to old fears, and old places.

And threw arms open to my future.

There was one then. 

One for now.

For now when I take on the real world.

Still scared, still unsure.

But there's courage in the words.

There's one now. 

Thank you.

Bedhead. 

Sometimes I wonder about you,

Are you secretly normal?

Are you even nice?

You're like looking in a mirror

Only I'm not sure what inane babble runs through your head.

Keep bluffing.

Bedhead.

Has it really been a year?

I took on the real world, 

Got to say I kicked some ass. 

I've got the black eye to prove it. 

Got a cold compress?

I needed to come back, 

Needed to put my feet back on the ground again. 

Fold in my wings,

And sit back for a while.

Learned a few lessons

And I'm a little worse for the wear.

But I'm still banking that he loves me, 

Or at least that's the joke of the day. 

I'm hanging my hat for a bit, 

Long enough to realize the sky is blue

And so are your eyes. 

The grass has never looked so greener. 

Bedhead.

I wouldn't poke that lip out if I were you,
Someone's liable to bite it.
Better moods are all the rage anyway.
Go kiss a fuck-up,
See who's smiling at the end.


I might just share my crayons with you.

Bedhead.

I've missed this,
Been trying to write in a real journal.
Didn't like it, too much honesty in my hand.
Abstract Concept : Pen and Paper.
Back for good baby.

Funny how the more things change,
The more they stay the same.
People change,
But at the end of the day they're still the same
As they were when they woke up this morning.
Why?
Because the way things are,
Because you were bound to be you no matter how hard you fight.

someoneknowsiamrealandineverwanttoloseit.

Too giddy to speak coherently,
Who needs downers when you're on natural uppers?
Let him look right through me,
I almost like it.
He knows.
I know.
Only time will tell.

I'm like a spinning top that shows no sign of stopping
"Out-of-controll" is the new "in control"
Since when did life become a balancing act?
What happened to all the days where relaxed and carefree were the themes?
Now it's weekly bitch fits and term papers.
What we need is an escape,
A grande caper from back in the day.

You make my head ok enough to keep standing.

Bedhead.

I hate it when people make me doubt my future,
Because I'm so set on it.
Please don't make it tumble,
I need it.
I'll grow up to be everything I said I would.
I promise.

Bedhead.

Been out righting wrongs, solving crimes.
Watch out Holmes, baby girl's got your number.
Gotta love it when you can see the end of an era.
Almost done.
Then what?

How've you been?
You never called, lose my number?
No, didn't think so.
No matter, I'm still waiting for a real boy.
Got no time for Pinocchios any more.
Call me up when you lose the wooden puppet act.

Really want to escape.
Gotta get out of this town full of
Green grass scorchers.
Gotta find someone to make my head shut up,
Someone to kiss it better and mean it.

I'm back for another spin around the block, hop in.


Bedhead.

Uh oh, I'm in for it now.
It's my turn next, and I hate to say I haven't prepared.
The sidewalk seems to be getting shorter,
Or maybe I'm just getting bigger.
I'm going to have to be more witty if I want to make it,
You know, out in the real world.

I'm being a worry wart again.
They won't like me.
I'm just a side street magican who's running out of tricks.
They want me to grow up.
I just don't know how.

Peter Pan today, Wendy tomorrow.
I'm pretty sure the lost boys had it made.
Fuck that, All the 2-D wonders had it made.
The world's just cartoons in my head.
"Th- Th- That's all Folks"
Cue the confused looks.

Two days,
Just two.
Whether or not it'll be worth it is still up for grabs.
Ask me later.
I'm closing up shop.

You glow just like the neon numbers of my alarm clock.


Bedhead.

1:24 am.
I can't sleep.
What's new?
I can't catch my breath,
I'm trying to keep up with my mind.

I always do this.
I build it up, build it up high.
I make myself believe so hard in it.
I do, you know, I can't help it.
I want to mean something to them.

If you can't blame a girl for trying,
Then you certainly can blame her for being stupid.
He'll never know.
And it wears away at my little heart.
I want him to know.

It's much too late to make poetic sense.
Just wishing it was all real.
I spend too much time playing make believe,
Not enough time removing my head from the clouds.
I need to be something more.

Think they'll ever know my name?
Nah, me neither.
Think I'll ever stop wishing?
Nah, me neither.
I'm too sluggish for this.

Got to keep the dream alive...


Bedhead.