I need to keep writing.
Just let me till my fingers are blistered and numb.
Too many thoughts in my head.
Let me channel them all.
Got a remote?

Feel like crying,
But nothing comes.
Nothing but invisible tears of self pity that is.
Lump in My throat = Coal in my Stomach.
I'm going to smile for real now.

Billion Dollar Baby.
Drinking wine with diamonds in the glass.
"Gonna Be a Big Deal"
Anyone can buy glitter and gold paint,
Only you can make it a trash can fad.

Cheer up,
Not you, me.
Someone will want me.
Pick me up off the shelf and give a dusting.
I aim to please.


Be my little baby...



Bedhead.

Coming to you live from my Father's desk.
Feeling important.
Feeling intelligent.
Too bad I'm neither.
Looking at pictures from when I was eight.
Hilariously long ago.

Work is piling up,
And I keep rolling my eyes.
Schools a joke,
Why play along?

I realized today that there's only a handful of days
Until I see them again.
Interesting, They feel like friends.
But, it's one-sided.
I know them,
They could care less about me.
Funny how the gears grind.

Looking for diversions.


Bedhead.

All I needed was You.
I remember the first time you sang me to sleep.
"Goodnight, Bedhead."
Long goodbyes are like forgotten years.
I miss you.

You try so hard to fit in,
Give it up, you'll never match.
Being "cool" died years ago.
What the hell do you think you're doing?

How did I lose you?
The flashbulbs know you better than I do.
Camera Whores with empty eyes are old news.
Dying Socialite.

Don't think you can make a fool of me.
I see behind those tired eyes and pretend smile,
We're the same.
Two of a kind.
Insominacs with heads too full.
"Don't mind the dark circles,
They're more like mental bruises."

Messes are my forte.
I come from bad dreams,
And sour milk spills.
Painted faces and head nods hide it all.
I've been slandered and mocked.

What've you lost?


Bedhead.

World is crashing,
Just like my laptop.
Can't find away to make this make sense.
I need a reboot.
I need a clean up.

I'm afraid no one will want to love me forever.
There is no one to wake up next to,
When I'm old and grey.
It didn't work for them.
It can't work for me.

I need to know I'm not alone.
I'm always alone.
Shadows are the only friends I know.
Doesn't anyone want my smile?

Thick air.
It chokes and burns.
Polluted lungs.
Polluted eyes.
Call Greenpeace, I'm a enviornmental disastor.

Promise me were not just friends when the bell rings...


Bedhead.

So he said he was deep,
I hated to inform him that I've seen kiddie pools deeper.
Should have seen his face.
Flash. Flash.
Save that one in your photographic memory.

Such a sarcastic bitch.
"I swear that kid lives on a bad attitude."
They said I was mean.
I said I was honest.
Who's right?

They are.

I'm all your bad dreams and worst case senarios.
I bent your halo,
And kicked dirt on your dreams.
Playground Bully Baby.
Lock me up.

Missing you makes me this way.

Sleep is like a distant memory these days
My eyes are heavy but I won't shut them,
Not till I know that me and you were never a mistake,
We were a collision.

Even though you're far from me now,
You've felt closer... to my heart.
Take this one to the bank baby,
It's worth a bundle.

The words keep flowing,
But I don't think you can hear them.
I mumble, note made to fix that.
Let me put it in the pile
Next to all the apologies to make
And truths to tell.
It's on my to-do-list.
Scout's Honor.

I wish it'd rain.
I take comfort in it,
That nature's atleast got it right.
I'm a failure... at some things,
But I've got a plan to make this all worth it,
Just wait and see
They'll all buy it by the bottle.
It'll be the best hoax yet,
Unless you count you and me.

Don't let me spit on your sidewalk chalk masterpiece.


Bedhead.

Enough Crypic Posts.

Time to tell you who and what I really am/love.

Love:
-You.
-Mismatched eyes.
-Being a Savant.
-Learning new words (Dictionary Lover)
-Chemistry (Not me & you, the subject)
-Cold Stone Ice Creamery.
-Tally Hall.
-Nightmare Before Christmas.
-Bubblegum Kisses.
-Phone calls from people I can't help not to get over.
-Standing front row.
-Green.
-Being on his hitlist.
-Danny Elfman.
-Obnoxius Clothing.
-Odepidus Cycle.
-Ajax.

Hate:
-Being looked over.
-Standing out.
-Contradicting myself.
-Wheelie Kids.
-Being stuck in the past.
-Being Jaded.
-Forcing smiles.
-As I lay Dying.
-Hometown.
-Inadequacy
-Needing You.
-Simpletons.
-Never believing in Sandy Claws.
-Getting Caught.

I am...

A loser.
A Nerd.
A Dreamer.
A Bookworm.
A Lover of Secrets.
A Worrywart.
A Faker.
Needy.
A Honors Student.
A Liar.
A Shower Singer.


Get your chopsticks, It's time to pick my brain.



Bedhead.

I wrote my secret down on a green balloon
And let it drift of in to the blue void we call the sky
I hope it finds its way to you.
I bet it'd be a long journey.
I bet it would.

Don't forget me,
When you're lying awake in your bed watching her sleep.
Don't you dare pretend she's me,
But you might not want to close your eyes
All you'll see is me.
I may be a ghost,
But I'm no Casper.

Don't act like you've put me in the past,
It's written on your forehead.
I'm the only thing you know.
It's alright,
You're painted on my heart.

Figures of speech only downplay your sincerity,
Tell me the truth.
I don't want lies and beating around the bush,
You're no good at that anyway.
We're just cops and robbers.
I'll steal your soul,
See if you can catch me.
Eyes like yours spill secrets.

I knew before you spoke where this was going.
Why am I such a fool to go along with you?
What a falling star,
No wishes granted.
You never meant a word.
I pretend like I don't know your intentions,
I'm in in love with the idea of love.
All I want is a You & Me.


Bedhead.

From heavy eyes to itchy lips,
"You had me at hello"
Excuse me, didn't I read about you in a fairy tale?
The one with the white horse and happy end.
I dream in "once upon a times"
Let me be the princess,
I've already got the hoping heart.

Wrap me up in lace,
I want to be a little girl.
This week is making me miss childhood.
Adolesence is almost up.
I'm bluffing my way into growing up.
I just found out this isn't Neverland.

Life is better without him.
I can breathe.
Cast off the boulder,
I'm lighter than air.
Kiss me quiet.

ineedyoutonoticemesilencedoesnothing.


Behead.

I'm such a little kiss up.
A good night liar.
"I want you to want me."
I know you see something more,
Don't lie.
You're not me.

I want to be lucky.
I kiss dice and eat stars,
It seems to have a reverse effect.
Walk under ladders baby,
We're a broken mirrior waiting to crack.

And we could run away,
But it'd do no good.
We're stuck like glue
To a place we've never chosen.
How ironic.
How quaint.

And I'll catch you when you come falling home....


Bedhead.

I'm sorry I've run away at the mouth again,
I'd bite my tounge,
But it may be better if you bite it for me.
I need you more than an addict needs a fix,
I'm trying to hold on,
But it's not working.

I love you.
I said it,
But I'm afraid of what that will mean when I wake up,
And think back to this very moment
When I let those words slip from my lips.

I try to shut so much out,
But the more I do
The more I remember.
I am forever losing things ,
What I wish I'd lose are the keys to my past.
But they're stuck like glue and I haven't tried hard enough yet.
I live in my dreams
Because reality is a far cry from what I hoped for.
It's those dreams that keep that cheesy smile painted on my akward face.

kissmebetterdoctorshavenothingonyou.

I like to lie in my bed in that state between sleeping and waking
Where those half-way dreams seem like reality
And the only thing I hear is the faint sound of memories
That I should have forgotten by now.
Bad luck is always there.
Sleep it away.
It;s the only plan I have for making life better.
Because everything else seems like a mistake.


Bedhead.

These days all I do
Is remember everything about you.
Of whisper wings and long goodbyes.
Though you're far away, don't let go.
You're the only thing holding me together.

Your voice is the only thing in my head,
And your words cut right to the bone.
So when you lie awake,
trying to find the answer,
I'll be the only thing you think of.

justbreatheyoucantastemeinthebreeze.

You're a mystery to me,
One left unsolved.
You'll never know what overtakes my heart,
When eyes lock and palms sweat.
I'd like for you to stay locked away in my room,
But it's not in the cards this time.

I can't seem to shake this feeling I get,
When everything goes down hill.
As I take my first steps without you,
Things I thought were lost all rush back.
I'd forgotten the sound of my own voice,
And how I hate the silence.

If our paths should ever cross again,
Let it be like a late night car crash.
There's nothing more beautiful than the element of surprise.
Just shine on me,
'Cause you know it's raining inside.


Bedhead.

Put my head back on straight,
I'm dizzy and drunk on equilibrium.
Time can't slow down this headache.
It's a monster of it's own kind.
There's no way out.

How can I be so good and so bad at the same time?
Flighty bitch with a halo.
Goodie two shoes with a diva complex.
They hate to love me.
They love to hate me.
Where's the ones who live to love me?
No hero for the seriously misguided.

I've been branded in cliches and bad news.
I'm a mural of what happens when you have no friends.
It goes down the drain faster than you anticipate.
Car cash.
Sunk ship.
Catch me.

Bedhead.

Get away from me.
I'm so sick of you and your cliques.
You're not fun.
Upset stomach in human form.
Quit.

SHUT UP.
I have no patience for you.
I hate pretending that I do.
You make me cry in circles and pull my hair.
I want nothing to do with you.
Here's a five, go buy a clue.

Nothing you could say would change my mind.
I cut you out,
There's no way back in.
I hate you.
I won't even say I'm sorry.
Because I'm not.
Never was.
You tricked me.

Keep me from windows and bridges.
I'd jump if it'd keep me from you.
Nails on a blackboard seem more pleasent than you.
Leave me.

I want him, not you.
Stop the side stepping.
You were a mistake.
Yeah, I said it.
We were an accident of the fatal kind.
Call the coroner to clean up the mess.
This is dead.

bedhead.

Last year I was a cut out paper doll.
This year I'm in technicolor and you can't stand it.
I watch you sputter and choke,
You never fall with grace.
You've made your bed of jealousy.
It's nap time.

Toss back that cocktail and wait.
I'll work the room and you'll wish you still had me.
Sand through your fingers,
That's all I ever was.
You miss me.

I'll wear that red dress you like so much.
When I feed you to the dogs.
I'm not so innocent anymore,
You made sure of that.
You poisioned that little wide-eyed girl.
Now I'm a new kind of lust.

Kiss me one last time,
Before I take off into the world.
I'm running this time.
Running fast and far.
When I run out of breath I know I've made it.
This is me sending you post cards from a new life.
This is our love song of a different texture.


Bedhead.

Hand me a tissue so I can blow out my brains.
17 is very unlucky number,
It's the number my life fell apart at.
I've been ripped at the seams,
But you're no seamstress.
Hot glue gun lover.

Hold up your fingers and let me count to ten.
They told me anger isn't the answer,
But it's all I feel.
I fail.
You fail.
It was only 65 degree sundays
And strawberry icecream summers.
When did we lose?

I'd give all my bad habits and secret sins for you.
I've got it bad enough to call it quits.
Turn out the light.
Turn off my head.
I could be brilliant,
But I'm better at being moronic.
Kiss me clean.

letmepretendwecouldbetogether

With me there are no second chances,
I know timebombs more forgiving.
Forget what could have been.
The script's been published,
And you got wrote out in Act I my friend.
Lost in thought and misguided praise.
I only want to count stars with you.



bedhead.

I'm tired of crying tears that burn my face,
I was never one of those overemotional types.
There's a hole I have the urge to fill,
But nothing I try seems to fit.
I'm stuck inside my head and it's like a never ending maze.
I need help,
But I won't reach out my hand.
I wish I knew what it was like to smile for real.

I gave him up.
I was tired of pretending.
I never wanted him, he made me miserable.
They all do.
I can't have love.
I don't know what to do with it.
I'm a recluse.
My heart needs a jumpstart,
But I haven't found anyone with jumper cables.

Drink it in.
I'm drowning, it what you want isn't it?
Forgive me while me while my life goes up in flames.
The smoke's so thick I've forgotten my own name.
Rescue me.


Bedhead.

Long time, no talk.
It's funny how no one and everyone can miss you.
Life rolls along and it's been smooth,
Real smooth.
Let's just go ahead and jinx it.
It will all crash soon enough.

I've been dreaming in pink lately.
The color pink that fills little girl fantasies.
I hate it.
I'm not a little girl... anymore.
I had to face the mirrior,
The kid I remember wasn't there staring me down.
It was someone new.

ifeellikeicanbreatheagain

It's coming back, I knew it would.
I can feel it thumping my heart along.
Why did I doubt?
They've never let me down.
They're gonna know,
I swear they're gonna know
Someday.

Bedhead. 

So long since I let my mind flow.
Excuse me while I drop the dam
And say I'm new,
He's new,
I never needed you.

happinessisrightthereicanfeelit.

Blue eyes for miles.
Watch as my heart skips a beat or two.
Hold hands, melt hearts.
We've got it bad.
Too perfect.
Why me?

It's funny how now jelousy rides high,
No one used to care,
You didn't care.
Why now?

I've got a fluttering heart now,
It's all your fault.
Don't worry,
I like it.
Your touch is like a breeze.
Carry me away.

I'll be yours.



Bedhead.

It's friday night, where am I?
Lying on my bedroom floor.
Where else would I be?
It's better, here, on the cold floor,
Favorite book in tow,
Than it would ever be sitting face to face
With you.

It's silly really,
Everyone's infatuation.
Their obbsesion.
I'm much better off listening to my heart,
It's beat tops today's fad.
We could hold hands,
But I'm just not on your level.

I've got labels.
Worrywart.
Perfectionist.
Nerd.
Freak.
Set me free, I'm stuck.
Stuck in this image, no one sees me.
The real me, without the mask,
Without the humor.
Make me real.

I love you.
I shouldn't have said that.
I did anyway, it's time you knew anyway.
I hide everything,
I'll never let you breach the surface.
That's too personal.

holdmedownidon'twanttorunanymore.

For give the analogy,
But today was like ripples on a pond.
It always starts small,
But then it grows.
I can't get a grip on it anymore.
I stumble.
Catch me.



Bedhead.

Yes?
No?
Yes?
No?
Make up my mind for me, I'm tired of fighting it.
Thoughts are the enemy today,
It'll be you tomorrow.

6 senarios in my head.
3 if I say yes
3 if I say no.
It could be a disastor,
It could be beautiful.
I don't know if it's worth a shot.

maybeishouldjustgiveupitcouldbenice.

Someone bring me Autum.
My Autum,
When the colors are bright,
And my head is clear.
I you like I need a bad joke.


harrypottercankissmyass.


Bedhead.